Explanation
May. 15th, 2004 11:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x_multiplemanI guess you're all--well, those of you who were there--waiting for an explanation, why I cancelled the HeliX meeting so early. It . . .
God, what a nightmare. I'm going to have to start at the beginning.
Everyone who was here then probably remembers, but for those of you who weren't--back in September, when Hurricane Isabel hit New York, just about all of us went out to do the humanitarian-aid thing. With powers. I wonder if that gave somebody the idea for Red X . . .
Never mind. Getting off track. I wish I could distract myself . . . Anyway. I was working at a refugee shelter that night, and as the storm was winding down one of the kids lost his nerve and ran out in it after his dog. I went after him. He wasn't watching where he was going, and almost got caught under a collapsing wall, only I shoved him out of the way in time. In time for him, anyway--the dupe there got stuck under the wall instead, and I died.
The story ends with somebody finding me passed out next to my corpse, bringing me back here, and eventually me getting therapy and getting better.
Apparently the story also ends with me waking up in the street somewhere with no one around . . . or starts there, I guess. Because apparently I duped when the rocks hit me. Which only makes sense, I know how my powers work, I can't believe I was that stupid I didn't think about the possibility before, but they were suppressed for a while after the accident, so I guess I thought that counted.
The short version is, I have an evil twin. Well, "evil" may be a strong word. "Insane" works, though. I was halfway there anyway, after, and this one didn't have Kitty and Alison and Doc MacTaggart to catch him when he fell.
Who he did have, apparently, was Mystique, and Magneto.
And we know all this because he showed up at the meeting, got Kitty alone, and tried to convince her that he was the real one, I was a dupe, and he should be allowed to reabsorb me and get on with my life. When that didn't work, he tried convincing her to come with him so they could go off and be happy together.
I . . .
The Professor's looking for him. Be careful when you go out. Don't underestimate him because I'm a clown, if you see him. I don't know if . . .
The hell of it all is, what if he's not a dupe? There's no way to tell. This nightmare was bad enough when that's all it was . . .
God, what a nightmare. I'm going to have to start at the beginning.
Everyone who was here then probably remembers, but for those of you who weren't--back in September, when Hurricane Isabel hit New York, just about all of us went out to do the humanitarian-aid thing. With powers. I wonder if that gave somebody the idea for Red X . . .
Never mind. Getting off track. I wish I could distract myself . . . Anyway. I was working at a refugee shelter that night, and as the storm was winding down one of the kids lost his nerve and ran out in it after his dog. I went after him. He wasn't watching where he was going, and almost got caught under a collapsing wall, only I shoved him out of the way in time. In time for him, anyway--the dupe there got stuck under the wall instead, and I died.
The story ends with somebody finding me passed out next to my corpse, bringing me back here, and eventually me getting therapy and getting better.
Apparently the story also ends with me waking up in the street somewhere with no one around . . . or starts there, I guess. Because apparently I duped when the rocks hit me. Which only makes sense, I know how my powers work, I can't believe I was that stupid I didn't think about the possibility before, but they were suppressed for a while after the accident, so I guess I thought that counted.
The short version is, I have an evil twin. Well, "evil" may be a strong word. "Insane" works, though. I was halfway there anyway, after, and this one didn't have Kitty and Alison and Doc MacTaggart to catch him when he fell.
Who he did have, apparently, was Mystique, and Magneto.
And we know all this because he showed up at the meeting, got Kitty alone, and tried to convince her that he was the real one, I was a dupe, and he should be allowed to reabsorb me and get on with my life. When that didn't work, he tried convincing her to come with him so they could go off and be happy together.
I . . .
The Professor's looking for him. Be careful when you go out. Don't underestimate him because I'm a clown, if you see him. I don't know if . . .
The hell of it all is, what if he's not a dupe? There's no way to tell. This nightmare was bad enough when that's all it was . . .
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:48 pm (UTC)May 15 2004, 09:08:28 UTC
The hell of it all is, what if he's not a dupe?
Doesn't matter. You're Jamie. You're my Jamie.
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 09:10:45 UTC
That helps a lot. I love you.
x_kitten
May 15 2004, 10:21:35 UTC
Love you always.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:49 pm (UTC)May 15 2004, 09:58:15 UTC
What Kitty said. Well, the first part, anyway.
I think everyone here'd say you're the real Jamie as far as we're concerned.
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 10:01:18 UTC
That'll be a big consolation if I suddenly disappear, or fall apart, or have my mind taken over, or . . . y'know, I need to stop thinking about this.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:49 pm (UTC)May 15 2004, 14:12:40 UTC
*hugs*
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 14:13:52 UTC
Thanks. I just . . . gaah. This is creepy on a level I didn't even know existed.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:51 pm (UTC)May 15 2004, 18:13:00 UTC
Bloody hell. So that's what that was all about...
Evil twins. I s'pose it had to happen sooner or later. Don't worry, Jamers, the X geezer'll sort this out with that giant brain of his.
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 21:35:19 UTC
That would be it, yeah.
And I hope he can. Still won't change the fact that now I know it only takes seven months, if not less, to turn me into a terrifying obsessive complete lunatic. Or that, you know, said lunatic is running around out there right now with my face.
Crap, I need to call my parents right now.
x_wytchbrat
May 16 2004, 04:38:31 UTC
Or that, you know, said lunatic is running around out there right now with my face.
There's plenty of people who can tell the difference even if he is using your face. Me, Manny, Rahne, the teeps... The Prof'll track him down and this will be sorted.
You need something to help you sleep later, let me know and I'll brew you up one of Homily's potions.
x_kitten
May 16 2004, 09:47:19 UTC
There's plenty of people who can tell the difference even if he is using your face.
Oh... it's pretty obvious.
x_cypher
May 16 2004, 12:21:46 UTC
Also me. :-/ And this is way freaky.
x_wytchbrat
May 16 2004, 15:25:39 UTC
*nods* Yep, you too. Sorry, had a blank spot there...
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:52 pm (UTC)May 16 2004, 09:50:53 UTC
it only takes seven months, if not less, to turn me into a terrifying obsessive complete lunatic
Seven months under the influence of the most evil mutant known to man.
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 11:56:40 UTC
That doesn't make it a whole lot more comfortable. :/ He scared you so much, and not all that long ago we were the same person.
x_kitten
May 16 2004, 15:31:31 UTC
I'm saying it makes a difference.
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 16:12:10 UTC
I guess I just hadn't ever thought I could become that kind of person.
Of course you could.
x_empath
May 16 2004, 19:12:01 UTC
Any of us could, given the right stimuli.
Trust me, I know. I've seen the process firsthand. Experienced it, even.
Manuel
PS - Wait, why am I reassuring you? You were mean to me. Hope you enjoy the new you.
Re: Of course you could.
x_tarot
May 16 2004, 20:25:54 UTC
Manny? Take this in whatever fashion you want.
Go to hell.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:53 pm (UTC)May 16 2004, 22:09:15 UTC
*hugs* I'm sorry.
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 23:07:30 UTC
It'll be okay. I hope.
Do you mind if we do things in, though, for a while? The idea of being out in spy-onable places is kinda wig-inducing right now.
x_kitten
May 17 2004, 08:08:45 UTC
*nod* Totally doable. What say a movie tonight, you and I stake out the recroom and watch Love Actually, which I just spotted on the Professor's "new stuff" section of the library?
x_crowdofone
May 17 2004, 10:54:17 UTC
[union-mandated male protest]This is all part of a nefarious plan to get me to stop being nervous about going out in public, isn't it.
Chick flicks. Yeesh.[/union-mandated male protest]
Sounds fun. I'll bring snacks. :)
Love you.
x_kitten
May 17 2004, 13:24:58 UTC
Oi, I protest this slur on good British films. It's got Kiera Knightly...
Besides, since when do even Union Males object to chick flicks if they're date movies?
x_crowdofone
May 17 2004, 13:32:49 UTC
It does? Ooh. I might look at the screen then. :)
There's contract negotiations going on, is the problem. Disputing factions and stuff. I just figured I'd cover my bases so I don't lose my union card. As a private citizen, of course I have no problem with date movies, especially if we're watching them from the comfy couch.
x_kitten
May 17 2004, 15:37:41 UTC
Wonder if I can distract you, even from the lovely Ms Knightly...? Bet I can!
Excellent. Very good to hear.
x_crowdofone
May 17 2004, 15:59:16 UTC COLLAPSE
I dunno, you might have to exert yourself. :D
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:55 pm (UTC)May 15 2004, 21:57:24 UTC
Good God.
I have no words, Jamie. If you need anything..
Re: ...
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 22:07:03 UTC
Yeah. I . . . don't know what I need. This not to have happened.
At least he doesn't seem to have messed with my parents, and they're calling the rest of the family to warn them.
Oh, I thought of something. A couple of slices of dry toast and can you see if we have some ginger ale? I should probably eat, and I think it should probably be something my stomach associates with conquering the impulse to throw up.
Re: ...
x_tarot
May 15 2004, 22:12:52 UTC
I have some ginger ale here - I get a little sick to my stomach sometimes with the headaches. I will send Doug down for toast, and bring you the ginger ale now.
Re: ...
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 22:21:49 UTC
Thanks.
. . . Hell, you don't suppose this is what your gladiator dream thing was about, was it?
Re: ...
x_tarot
May 15 2004, 22:23:20 UTC
...
I hope not.
I -really- hope not.
Re: ...
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 22:27:13 UTC
Me too. It . . . sort of makes sense, though.
...
x_tarot
May 15 2004, 22:30:09 UTC
I really -do not- want to think about you fighting a lot of your evil twins, Jamie.
It is unnerving to think about and makes me worry a great deal.
Re: ...
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 22:32:21 UTC
Sorry. Everything else looks kinda a lot less unnerving stacked up against the "so, am I really real?" wiggins. Worst nightmares ever should go away after successful therapy, not act themselves out in real life.
...
x_tarot
May 15 2004, 22:34:23 UTC
No, that is .. understandable.
You are real. You are here and my friend and -not evil-, and REAL.
I do not know what he is, but he is not you.
Re: ...
x_crowdofone
May 15 2004, 22:41:04 UTC
He isn't me, but I might be him . . . if that makes sense. Of all the places for my memory to be fuzzy.
I dunno. I keep trying not to think about it, but then I keep thinking about it.
. . . Maybe it doesn't even matter. Doc McCoy says all my dupes are genetically identical anyway. But it's scary either way.
.....
x_tarot
May 16 2004, 16:03:57 UTC
Genetically identical does not mean the same.
Twins are genetically identical and they are different people just because they are different.
Re: .....
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 16:09:33 UTC
No, I know it doesn't mean we're the same person. It's just, since my dupes are genetically identical, it . . .
Actually, hang on. That means there isn't necessarily an Original Me in a way that matters. Wow. That just rendered the whole "real or not" question completely moot.
Wow.
Re: .....
x_tarot
May 16 2004, 16:20:42 UTC
So, because you are all the same, it does not matter which one of you is real?
...
Blast it all. YOU are the real Jamie, no matter what.
Re: .....
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 16:39:44 UTC
No, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It doesn't matter which one of us is . . . the actual body my mom gave birth to. I'm just as real as he is.
Hell, I'm more real. I'm not a freaking looney tune.
x_siryn
May 16 2004, 19:32:42 UTC
And in the end, isn't that what matters?
I'd take sane Jamie any day over looney tunes Jamie. *firm nod* You're as Real as it gets.
Re: .....
x_kitten
May 16 2004, 22:09:05 UTC
Hell, I'm more real. I'm not a freaking looney tune.
Yes, good, thank you. My point exactly.
Re: .....
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 23:16:32 UTC
Sorry. I'm kind of a bonehead sometimes, it takes a couple of repetitions to get through. Got the message now, though. Me=real, me=not crazy, me=has a wonderful patient girlfriend who always makes me feel better, life still on average=pretty darn good.
Re: .....
x_kitten
May 17 2004, 08:03:57 UTC
Good, glad you're getting it.
I love you so much and I know you're worried and so am I, but we'll get through this.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:56 pm (UTC)x_kitten
so, am I really real?
Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.
*comes to find you*
Re: ...
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 11:57:02 UTC
Well, that's one way to get me to stop thinking about it. :)
*hugs*
Date: 2017-12-06 09:56 pm (UTC)May 16 2004, 10:16:11 UTC
You'll get through this, Dude. And like others have said, Chuck'll sort this out. He has that enormously squishy frontal lobe afterall. ;)
Re: *hugs*
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 11:58:05 UTC
Squishy? Like Nerf? Now, there's a mental image. Heh, thanks. :)
REPLY
no subject
Date: 2017-12-06 09:57 pm (UTC)May 16 2004, 18:03:44 UTC
so then...now what? I mean, multiple you's is one thing, psycho multiple you's is another! this place can only handle so many crazy people at once!
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 18:05:49 UTC
I dunno. I'm waiting to hear back from the Professor.
I'm thinking it probably doesn't take a day to say "everything will be all right, problem solved already" though. :(
x_blink
May 16 2004, 18:10:42 UTC
yeah. *sigh* why do I have a sneaky suspicion that there is no magic cure-all :(
x_wytchbrat
May 16 2004, 20:29:29 UTC
'Cause there aren't any spells relating to psycho dupes?
Sorry for the off-colour joke, Jamers, but sometimes if you don't laugh, well, you know what I mean.
x_crowdofone
May 16 2004, 20:32:03 UTC
Heh. I've been trying to come up with a relevant lightbulb joke all day, don't worry.
I'm also looking back on every single "Skippy the Evil Twin" routine I ever pulled and seriously reconsidering my belief in universal karma. :p