Good morning, Mr. Ramsey.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to acquire a date for this Friday evening.

Should you fail, as always the agency will disavow all knowledge of your actions. The agency might also occasionally make clucking noises, as of a chicken, in your general direction.

This message would have appeared to self-destruct in five seconds if I'd had time to rig some smoke paper in your computer fan, but I didn't, so you'll just have to pretend.