(no subject)

Whoever you are, mystery pranker, I salute you. And I will find out who you are, and there will be such revenge taken as will be shared around campfires in awed whispers after society collapses and we are all riding the highways in very spiky junkheap-reject cars that somehow never run out of gas despite the total collapse of the petroleum industry.

. . . In other news, could someone please come help me open my door so I can get breakfast? Doug went through it not thirty seconds ago, but now it's stuck.

Hrm. Addendum. Help me open the door, then stick around and hold it open just in case while I take a look at how it got sealed shut? There's not a whole heck of a lot of ways to do that that don't involve replacing the entire door, and I don't sleep that deeply . . .