Now Taking Suggestions

[x_multipleman]

Okay, so, starting in a month or so I'm gonna have two jobs: delivering for Mr. Roth (my motto: "Crispy Fresh Hamentaschen In Thirty Minutes Or Less Or I Go All Verklempt, Talk Amongst Yourselves, I'll Give You A Topic") and some sort of insurance data entry thing (my motto: "Why Yes, I Am A Trained Monkey, Ask About Our Banana Special, Beware Of Flung Poo.")

Those two plus my savings from working the farm for Dad plus my pretty-darn-healthy financial aid package ought to be enough to pay for college without sacrificing my soul, my nads, and the first ten years of my adult life on the altar of student loans, but I'm gonna need some walking-around money too, and also the car appreciates a full gas tank.

So I'm thinking about grabbing a third job, but I'm not sure what. My stipulations are as follows:

- No clowns. I don't feel like taking the time to get a degree in clownology (or, before anybody mentions it, clowniatry; the ability to prescribe 50 ccs of seltzer water down the pants is not worth the extra tuition.)

- No telemarketing. I'm already part of an unpopular minority group, thanks, I don't want to try selling aluminum siding to people who'd rather be watching TV/eating dinner/having sex/all of the above. Besides, I'd walk around all the time looking over my shoulder for rabbits with switchblades and/or demon-infested answering machines, and that's no way to live.

Other than that I think I'm pretty open-minded, but I'm also pretty stumped. Any ideas?

Comments

[x_multipleman]

x_cypher
June 20 2005, 08:35:30 UTC
Hm. Waiting tables, maybe?


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 08:43:18 UTC
Mmmmaybe. But the job at Roth's is already gonna be fairly tip-dependent, and I dunno if I wanna go there for 2/3 of my income.


x_cypher
June 20 2005, 08:47:08 UTC
Hm. Good point there. Relying on tips? Not cool.

*snicker* You could be a mail carrier. Complete with dorky shorts.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 08:50:04 UTC
You're just saying that so you can laugh at my wardrobe.

What are you doing for cash this fall, anyway? Because dude, you should try for the UN translator corps or something. Natural advantage, plus the intriguing possibility of uncovering a murderous international conspiracy involving Nicole Kidman.


x_cypher
June 20 2005, 09:02:19 UTC
I was thinking technical support, maybe. Though I'm not sure if I have the patience to deal with people who think their CD-ROM drive is a coaster. :)


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 09:13:05 UTC
That's just gotta be an urban legend.

Apply at the UN! The Uruguayans are trying to swear at the Ukrainians and they need your help to make sure the idiom jumps the language barrier!

The answer seems fairly obvious to me.

[x_multipleman]

x_empath
June 20 2005, 08:36:31 UTC
Have you thought about being a professional courier?

No, not like Jake. I'm talking about a bike messenger or the like. With multiples of you, even if some are off abusing the American economy doing other things, it should be a cinch.

Manuel

x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 08:46:17 UTC
Dude, I keep expecting "Manhattan Bike Messenging" to show up on the X-Games one of these years. Also, I'm no Jessica Alba.


I will pretend that I understood that.
x_empath
June 20 2005, 09:00:46 UTC
If that is all right with you.

It was just a suggestion.

Manuel


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 09:15:32 UTC
The X-Games are sort of the Olympics for rebellious teenagers, kind of thing. Skateboarding, bike tricks, suicide waterskiing, that stuff.

Jessica Alba was the star of a really short-lived Fox sci-fi show called "Dark Angel," where she was a bike messenger by day, genetically engineered superhero by night, kinda-hot-in-a-pouty-sort-of-way all the time.

[x_multipleman]

x_tarot
June 20 2005, 08:40:16 UTC
The art store that I frequent is looking for someone to do inventory and shelving, and I know that the owner is open-minded about mutants and use of mutant powers in the store.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 08:47:16 UTC
I could wear a beret and a black turtleneck and look morose!

That's a possibility, though. Hm.


x_tarot
June 20 2005, 08:58:18 UTC
Well, Marcus doesn't wear berets or turtlenecks, he dresses... actually, rather a lot like Mr. Summers. Khaki pants and collared shirts. He does have tattoos though. And I think he used to have an earring, but I have never seen him wearing it. And he is only morose when his supplier is late, or when old women yell at him for not carrying just the right shade of wool.

I can ask him if the job is still open when I go there next.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 09:17:01 UTC
Where's the fun of working in an art supply store if you aren't going to riff the stereotypes? But I guess he can't be too wacky if he's trying to keep the old-lady-knitting market.


x_tarot
June 20 2005, 09:19:30 UTC
I think it is ... a balance. He has tattoos, but since he has to look respectable to keep some clients, he wears nice khakis and shirts.

Maybe old women who knit is a lucrative market. I think it is all the sweaters for little dogs! Or grandchildren. Or grandchildren's dogs.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 09:23:53 UTC
Dog sweaters wig me out. They're dogs. They have fur. Sweaters are just redundant!

But hell, most of those dogs don't walk anywhere anyway, and have brains that consist of "see object-->yap", so maybe they need the sweaters because their fur is just as useless as the rest of them.


x_tarot
June 20 2005, 09:25:07 UTC
Marcus is on a campaign to get those women to knit sweaters to send them to Australia for penguins.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 09:25:52 UTC
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

There are penguins in Australia? Like, wild ones?


x_tarot
June 20 2005, 09:28:37 UTC
Yes. They are very small and blue.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 09:29:33 UTC
Small blue penguins. That's somehow incredibly awesome.

Don't be silly.

[x_multipleman]

x_snowflake
June 20 2005, 11:02:19 UTC
A demon wouldn't infest an answering machine.

Too twisty.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 11:08:40 UTC
Not even if it was trapped there by another demon? Aww. Next thing I know you'll say the world isn't carried through space on the back of a giant turtle.


x_snowflake
June 20 2005, 11:33:35 UTC
There are better places to trap demons you don't like than answering machines.

Like those horrible children's restaurants with mini-golf and giant mice.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 11:52:27 UTC
Aw, I used to love going to Chuck E Cheese for my friends' birthday parties.

But, y'know, come to think of it, paralyzing the demon and dumping it into the ball pit would just be mean. One time I went in there and some four-year-old had had about three slices of pizza too many, if you get my drift.

Re: Don't be silly.

[x_multipleman]

x_snowflake
June 20 2005, 11:34:11 UTC
And also, it isn't, and I'm not even going to ASK where you got that idea.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 11:53:14 UTC
Terry Pratchett. I should lend you some of those books, I bet you'd get a kick out of Granny Weatherwax. Maybe also Susan.

[x_multipleman]

x_polarisstar
June 20 2005, 13:49:54 UTC
How about this opening I saw: Line chef for a school for gifted youngsters? Dunno, seems like it would pay well though I hear the students are all completely insane.


x_cypher
June 20 2005, 13:55:22 UTC
I bet it's one of those places that puts 'gifted' on the sign to look prestigous, when really there's a bunch of troublemakers on campus.


x_polarisstar
June 20 2005, 13:58:26 UTC
So I'm given to understand. Even the staff seems to have a tenous hold on sanity. Except the current chef who is a model of mental health.


x_cypher
June 20 2005, 14:01:56 UTC
Which begs the question, what's she doing in the insane asylum?


x_polarisstar
June 20 2005, 14:04:57 UTC
Presumably making dinner. Which is four cheese lasagna tonight from scratch.


x_cypher
June 20 2005, 14:06:42 UTC
I meant, if she's the picture of mental health, what's she doing making dinner for the loony bin?

Also? Yum. Lasagna.


x_polarisstar
June 20 2005, 14:10:12 UTC
Well someone has to. The pizza guy won't deliver here there anymore.

And crusty italian garlic bread and lots of salad and tiramisu for dessert.


x_cypher
June 20 2005, 14:12:31 UTC
Double yum! Garlic bread!

...though I imagine someone isn't going to be too keen on kissing me tonight. Oh well. ;-)


x_polarisstar
June 20 2005, 14:14:24 UTC
Just get her to eat some too. It's not so bad when it's shared. Or, I hear they've invented these wonderful things called breath mints...


x_cypher
June 20 2005, 14:18:41 UTC
Pfah! Breath mints are for the weak!


x_polarisstar
June 20 2005, 14:23:08 UTC
Or for those who love their girlfriends.


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 14:23:22 UTC
So you're saying that wanting to not horrify your girlfriend with your mouth stench is weak? Dude. :)


x_tarot
June 20 2005, 14:51:51 UTC COLLAPSE
Doug? I rather like garlic bread, if you recall.

[x_multipleman]

x_kitten
June 20 2005, 15:17:58 UTC COLLAPSE
I'd say check and see if there are any campus jobs that interest you, but they -usually- pay pretty crap. Unless you're lucky and get offered a senior position going in...


x_crowdofone
June 20 2005, 18:00:53 UTC
Doubt it--they'd be giving those jobs to upperclassmen, wouldn't they? But I'll look.

Remember Stonewall?

[x_multipleman]

x_wytchbrat
June 20 2005, 18:07:46 UTC
The horse ranch place? They take on peopel for summer work as stablehands and the rest - there's no way I can do it this time 'round with the stuff I've got on my plate, but if you get in touch I'm sure they'd remember you and jump at the chance to take you on.

Say hi to Red for me if you do. *grins*